If you’ve been reading this blog long enough you probably already know that I wholeheartedly believe that a budget is going to be one of the most critical foundational pieces of your financial future. A budget lays down the absolute truth of your finances. It doesn’t sugar coat it nor does it try to trick you into believing a farce. What you see is what you get this is fine, but when two people are working on a budget for one household things can go left quick if you’re not on the same page.

Budget meetings are meetings where you and your partner/significant other sit down and outline the finances for the month. You don’t have to be involved to have a budget meeting. I actually suggest having a budget meeting with yourself. Pour a glass of your favorite drink, put on your favorite song and crunch those numbers! During a budget meeting, you make a list of what’s coming in along with what’s going out, you talk things out and go over goals, and you pray that you don’t run out of money before you’ve gotten to all the categories.

Budget meetings typically are held at the end of the month, right before the start of the new month allowing you enough time to prepare before the bills start to roll in. Most budget meetings typically range from five minutes to an hour depending on what all needs discussing concerning the household finances. The further along you are with your financial journey and the more experienced you are with writing out your budget; the shorter your meetings will be. For Mr. Broke on Purpose® and I, our budget meetings usually last between 5 to 10 minutes unless something is changing in the upcoming month.

Having a conversation about money is hard. I get it, especially if it’s a subject that isn’t often broached in your household or you’ve had to struggle to get to the point where you’re even having a meeting. They can be awkward, and many people feel that whenever the topic of money is brought up, their guard needs to come up with it. They get annoyed and irritated easily.  This is a natural reaction that with time will go away. When having a budget meeting, there are four things that all parties involved must keep in mind so that you walk away with next months plan completed and you’re feelings still intact.

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1. Demonstrate Respect

As I mentioned previously, finances are a sensitive subject. It takes a lot of courage for someone to admit where they’ve gone wrong financially and the last thing want is to feel ridiculed continuously for their bad choices. If you’ve made it this far as to have a budget meeting, then the money mistakes of the past should be forgiven so that both of you can move forward with a clean slate.

During a budget meeting, one of the most important things to do is to demonstrate respect towards the other person. If you go into your meeting with an open mind and willingness to treat your partner the way you want to be treated the meeting will go a lot smoother. Adopt the mantra that there are no stupid questions and allow your partner to feel at ease to share their feelings. Understandably the topic of finances may cause some to become a bit emotional. They make speak with more emphasis or a raised voice. This whole thing may be new to them or even a bit scarier. Most of the time when we make budget we realize that some drastic things need to take place like cutting out spending or even reducing the cable package during football or basketball season. Don’t let their actions affect you.

You can also demonstrate respect by being prepared. Don’t go into the meeting without having your numbers ready. Having a list of due dates and amount owed can shorten the time of a budget meeting significantly. If there is a change, you’d like to bring up make sure you’ve done your research so that you can adequately present how that change would be beneficial to the budget.  Being prepared not only shows your partner that you’re serious, but it also shows them that you respect their time and their feelings.

2. Listen First

A big part of demonstrating respect is knowing how to listen. It can be tempting to want to dominate the conversation, especially if you’ve been pouring over personal finance topics and you find that it’s something you’re passionate about. Remember, this is a team effort and even if your partner doesn’t seem that enthusiastic what they have to say is just as important as what you have to say. When you fail to listen first you automatically disregard rule number one, which is to demonstrate respect. Do you see how the two are tied together?

While listening, make sure that you are paying attention to what they’re saying. If they’re voicing concern for a budget category listen to why they may feel that way, especially if it’s a category they’ll be the main ones using.  Often when I’m having a conversation, I take notes so that I don’t forget what they were saying as I listen to their other concerns. When it’s my turn to talk I can peek at my notes and make sure to address key points that they brought up.  You may even find by listening that an idea they brought up would work brilliantly, thus shaving time off your budget meeting even more.

3. Clarify Expectations

After making your budget the next most important thing is to stick to it. Before you close the meeting, it’s imperative that you’re sure both of you are on the same page. Clarifying your expectations for the month allows both parties to understand their roles going forward. Address the specific things you want to achieve and the overall goal you want to accomplish with this particular budget. One specific expectation could be that you both consistently update the budget and keep each other informed on spending in specific categories. You can easily do this by updating a shared budgeting app like Marcus, and I do. An overall expectation could be something like staying within budget for the month and putting an extra $250 in your emergency fund.

4. Practice Accountability

When these expectations are clarified it’s up to all parties involved to be sure that they are adhering to them. By practicing accountability, you inspire others to want to do their best as well. You have to lead by example. Don’t be quick to talk to the talk but then not want to walk the walk. Some people hate budgets so much that they’re looking for any excuse not to do one. If they see you sidestepping or not keeping up with your end of the deal, they’re more likely just to stop working the plan also.

Indeed, no one likes to be micromanaged, so it’s crucial that you demonstrate respect by trusting your partner to follow through, but what do you do if they don’t follow through with the agreed upon plan. You may find yourself angry and upset because you feel like all your hard work has been derailed, but now it’s more important than ever to turn back to the first three rules of Demonstrating Respect, Listening First, and Clarifying Expectations. When speaking about why things went astray, be mindful that your reaction could make this conversation head in one of two directions, positive or negative. Be respectful of your tone and your approach. Listen to what your partner is saying. Maybe there is an area they are struggling with when it comes to budgeting. Remember not everyone can stick to a budget immediately, it’s a learned behavior. Once you’ve heard them out, go back through and clarify the expectations for the budget. Why do you have one? What was the overall goal? What are your household goals? Etc.

Accountability also means transparency. I’m not talking about the “I left the top off the toothpaste again”, type of transparency, but the “OMG they might kill me if I tell them this”, type of transparency.  You have to be willing to come clean with your mistakes also. Covering up the truth will do more hurt than good in the long run. Covering up the truth may be what got you here in the first place. If you and your partner are making the same error, this may be an area to spend more time on brainstorming ways you can be successful.

By practicing the four rules above, demonstrating respect, listening first, clarifying expectations, and practicing accountability, you can have a successful budget meeting. You can also use these rules in other areas of your life like work, or even in organizational meetings. The more budget meetings you have, the easier they become. Don’t let the first few cause you to get discouraged. Once you start to reap the benefits of living on a budget, you’ll never want to turn back to a life of chaos and random receipts.

Got any tips of your own for having a successful budget meeting? Share them with us in the comments below?